Lineage Series: Words Written Between Women
by ChuckyDoll
Summary: After Jonas leaves, the Giver finds some old letters exchanged between the Receiver that trained his own mentor and a seemingly insignificant Birthmother.
1. Preface

The Receiver had been aimlessly pacing around his private Annex. It felt like forever since Jonas had left the Community and he had hardly spoken to anyone, save the few Elders that had desperately asked him to figure out some solution to the terrible situation at hand. He looked at his surroundings; there were several books, a good portion of them now collecting dust. A few papers were strewn around on his polished desk and there was an empty bowl that lay there, overturned. He coughed a bit, frustrated that he was coming down with something.

The Receiver decided to read one of the books and walked up to the shelf, feeling a shot of pain in one of his knees. He winced a bit before he reached out for a large volume that, to his surprise, he never noticed nor read. He remembered his previous mentor, a man named Jasper, talking about it once. The man had only given him vague details about it. The book felt heavy in the Receiver's hand and he struggled to carry it back to his bed. The Receiver dropped the book when he sat down and saw that it wasn't a book at all. It was a carefully disguised box with several papers in it. How had he failed to notice this box in all of his years?

There was a single note that was addressed to Jasper. The Receiver unfolded it, seeing that there was a little bit of dust on it, and read it.

"Jasper,

It will be a struggle to combat the loneliness of being Selected. Find a good companion, perhaps a Birthmother. It will do you good.

Nessa"

The Receiver crinkled an eyebrow and set the note aside before he examined the pile of letters. There were dates on each letter and the Receiver noticed that the relationship between those sending the letters must have lasted several years. He looked for the earliest year, which turned out to be at least a century ago. Already, he could feel his lips forming the familiar words he had said throughout his time with his apprentice.

"Back and back and back."


	2. December 12, 7071 – Tuesday

December 12, 7071. Tuesday.

I found this loose brick in the wall of the House of the Old near the back yesterday. There's a door about ten feet away from it. I mean, at least I think it's ten feet away. I'm not very good at judging distance. I was just curious and I took the brick out. I thought maybe somebody could hide something behind there, so I stuck a folded piece of paper that was in my bag and put the brick back. I don't think anyone would notice the difference, so I thought I could write some things I'm feeling that I don't want to share with people and hide it behind this brick.

One thing that I don't feel good about is that I'm not doing well in school. Sometimes I can't do the homework that I'm given every night because I'm too tired from volunteering and school and stuff. My parents try to help me, but they aren't very good at it. I think they just gave up and now they're disappointed in me. They don't say they are, but I can kind of sense it. My parents are Melati and Aron. I have a little brother named Leroy. He gets better grades than me and doesn't get into as much trouble. I think that's why my parents like him better.

The Ceremony of Twelve is coming up soon. I think my parents wished that I would have a chance of getting a prestigious job, but I think I'll end up becoming a laborer or something. I'll probably pick up trash for my assignment. There's also the chance I'll end up being a Birthmother. I know people aren't supposed to say mean things about each other, but I heard that people think I'm lazy and dumb. Mostly lazy, dumb girls end up as Birthmothers. This makes me feel bad, but I don't think I can tell my parents that. I know I should tell them this at the Telling of Feelings tonight, but I feel weird trying to tell stuff like this to my parents. All of this makes me feel bad. I don't know what to do.

–Rowan


	3. December 13, 7071 – Wednesday

December 13, 7071. Wednesday

I'm writing again today. I got in trouble because I forgot to turn in some homework. I forgot to do my homework because I'm writing these things. I don't know what's the point of writing them, but I guess it makes me feel a little bit better. There was one girl, Arianrhod, who said I was going to be a Birthmother. She said she visited the Birthing Center a lot and thought that the Birthmothers there weren't very smart. She was staring at the big F on my math test when she said it.

I heard something weird when I was taking that math test, which was why I couldn't focus on it. If I didn't hear it, I think I would have gotten a C at least. No one else seemed to hear it and I thought it sounded nice. It was kind of calming. I want to hear it again so I don't have to listen to my brother tonight.

–Rowan


	4. December 14, 7071 – Thursday

December 14, 7071. Thursday

To Rowan

I saw the brick stick out more than the others and saw your notes behind it. I couldn't help but take them home and read them. I learned that they were meant to be private, but I'll respond to them anyway.

You said that you don't think your parents care about you. I'm sure they do, they just don't know how they can help you with your homework. Some parents are better than others. As for you being too tired, maybe you could try to find less tiring volunteering jobs. Do you feel tired mentally or physically?

I'm not sure how to respond to your confessions about what other people thought of you except that I never thought of you that way. Some people are more understanding than others and its not unlikely that some may come to untrue conclusions. I know some people think that a friend of mine, I won't say her name, is standoffish, but really she is just shy. As for what Arianrhod said, I wouldn't worry about it. She doesn't seem to be well liked, in any case.

As for the odd noise you reported during the math test, I think I heard it too. Would you describe it as melodious? Is this the first time you heard it? It is not so in my case; I have heard it several times throughout the past few weeks.

I would have approached you in person, except that asking you about this in front of others would have been rude. I hope you don't mind me responding to your confessions.

–Nessa


	5. December 16, 7071 – Saturday

December 16, 7071. Saturday.

To Nessa

Thanks for what you said. I feel a little better, but that doesn't help that my parents are probably going to be disappointed at the Ceremony tomorrow. It's too late to make my grades better because I'm sure the Elders already chose my assignment. I'm sure Arianrhod will probably smile a little bit when I'm assigned a not-so-prestigious job.

I find it weird that you're telling me not to feel bad about my parents being disappointed in me. When I'm in my room and my brother is doing his homework, I can hear my parents comparing me to you. Sometimes Leroy joins in on the conversation. I want to live with the Childless Adults as soon as I can.

I don't know how to describe it. It goes up and down in pitch. I heard it last night right before I went to sleep. I think I heard something like that when I was little, but I couldn't explain it to anyone. It's really confusing.

–Rowan


	6. December 19, 7071 – Tuesday

December 19, 7071. Tuesday.

To Rowan,

Sorry I haven't gotten back to you. The past few days have been very... confusing.

All I know is that I was Selected. I'm not allowed to talk about my training, so I can't share much with you. How is training as a Birthmother?

I'm not sure how to react to your parents comparing you to me. We are two completely different people. It doesn't make sense for them to do that.

As for the thing we keep hearing, maybe I should introduce you to my mentor. Her name is Igraine. She can probably explain it better than I can.

Nessa


	7. December 21, 7071 – Thursday

December 21, 7071. Thursday.

To Nessa,

Training is okay. I am getting closer to Sloane. She is in our year, though you probably already knew that. There are a few others girls we are training with. Edelweiss, Axelle and Ieva turned Twelve last year. Vardo and Elowen turned Twelve two years ago. Isolde, Ashtad and Emine turned Twelve three years ago. Because its only the beginning of our Twelfth year, Isolde, Ashtad and Emine will train for another year.

It's against the rules for me to talk about some stuff about my training, but since you're now the Receiver, I'm supposed to be completely honest with you. We're technically supposed to take the pill during training and in-between pregnancies, but most girls here don't bother with the pill at all. The nurses here don't mind, so long as the birthmothers don't break any other rules.

There are two birthmothers who both already had their second child. Their names are Peony and Robin. I see them hold hands a lot and giggle with one another. Emine said that Peony and Robin have stirrings for each other. She also says that the birthmothers feel it for the doctors and nurses. I don't feel it for the men there, but Sloane sometimes does. I'm a little jealous of Peony and Robin.

I also see Peony and Robin go to the birthmothers' private bathrooms together. They always come out with these smiles that I don't see on anyone else. I wonder what they do in there.

Rowan


	8. December 23, 7071 – Saturday

December 23, 7071. Saturday.

To Rowan,

I learned that most people, if they have Stirrings, will feel it for the opposite sex. However, Igraine told me that a few will feel it for their own sex or for both. As for your case, either you fall under this category or your Stirrings must be dormant.

Do you still hear the strange noise that you reported to me in your other letters? Igraine wanted to know. If you're still hearing it, she told me you can come to the Annex tomorrow.

There's a lot that I want to tell you about this job, but I can't. It feels really strange.

Nessa


	9. December 31, 7071 - Sunday

December 31, 7071. Sunday.

To Nessa,

I know you and Igraine told me not to tell anyone, but I tried to tell Sloane about the sound. Is it spelled music or musik? Sorry I haven't gotten back to you in a week.

For some reason, each day, they made me stay behind for a test of some sort. A few days were blood tests or something and, at one point, they did some sort of X-ray or something on my ear. I asked the other birthmothers if they got these tests during training. They said they just got tests near their birth canal a little bit before they got pregnant.

I caught Peony and Robin sharing a tub in the private bathing room. They were doing this weird thing where they put their mouths on each other. I told Sloane about it and she laughed.

Rowan


	10. January 4, 7072 – Thursday

January 4, 7072. Thursday.

To Rowan,

So how are your fellow trainees doing? I know Edelweiss, Axelle, and Ieva are Thirteens, Vardo and Elowen are Fourteens, and Isolde, Ashtad, and Emine are Fifteens. You haven't told me much else about them.

I hope the tests don't become particularly invasive. Igraine told me it used to be worse for Birthmothers. I don't know much else.

Earlier, you noted you felt a little jealous towards Peony and Robin. Has that changed since you saw them do what they did?

Sorry I haven't been writing more letters. My legs have been in a lot of pain for the past few days.

–Nessa


	11. January 5, 7072 – Friday

January 5, 7072. Friday.

Private Entry: Nessa

I keep having two recurring dreams. One is of a memory Igraine recently transferred to me. In it, my leg was broken. Now I know why I'm not supposed to report my dreams anymore. The other one is of Rowan. This one started after Rowan sent me that letter about Peony and Robin doing things in the bathroom that she didn't know about. When she told me what she saw, I thought it somewhat resembled my dream about her.

I feel increasingly alone, no matter how much I talk about certain things with Igraine. What am I supposed to do when I complete training? I can't just tell Rowan everything. She might talk about what I confide in her to Sloane. She did that already with music.

Speaking of which, the dreams about her almost always feature music. I don't know why.


	12. January 6, 7072 – Saturday

January 6, 7072. Saturday.

To Nessa,

Sloane is getting along well with Axelle and Ieva. They all like to stare at this one nurse. His name is Cairbre.

I also heard that it used to be worse for Birthmothers. Robin told me she thinks one of the older doctors remembers what it was like for them. She says his expression changes whenever she brings it up. Peony says it's because the doctors don't want us to know it used to be worse. I don't think anyone outside of the Birthing Center even knows about it.

I don't think I'm jealous of Peony and Robin anymore. I actually asked them about what they did. They told me that some other Birthmothers actually do similar things just to relieve their stirrings. Peony and Robin just aren't as private about it.

I haven't been writing as many either. Something always gets in the way. Did you know that Birthmother training actually has homework? It doesn't even make sense!

Rowan


End file.
